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Merry Thanksgiving?

Well Halloween came and went and that can mean only one thing.


No you cocksuckers! No! Thanksgiving comes first! It used to be that Christmas decor was put up the day after Thanksgiving. That's how my family always did it. Now in some cases, the fucking Christmas shit is up before, or at the same time as the Halloween shit! Why are you rushing it? Pretty soon the fucking Easter Bunny and Santa will both be perched in the mall so that your kids can see both on the same day and kill two birds with one stone. That's if kids these days even believe in Santa and/or the Easter Bunny.

Christmas just keeps creeping up the calendar. Like that fucking girl you date that brings a little bit of her shit over every time she visits. Before you know it...BAM!!! She's fucking moved in and you're a "couple". Well I'm on to you Christmas. Sneaking an aisle's worth of Christmas shit next to the Halloween aisle, then next year it'll be two aisles worth. Then a fucking tree pops up on a combined Halloween/Christmas end cap and boom! Christmas in mid October. And it seems the fucking radio stations start playing Christmas music by my birthday, IN AUGUST!

We've got Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Small Business Thursday and who know's what the fuck else there is? Tranny Hooker Wednesday, Crack Whore Tuesday? It's too much. Let's just go back to starting the Christmas season the Day after Thanksgiving, on "Black Friday". I'm surprised that's still a thing. That hasn't upset or offended some ghetto dweller by now? Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson have missed that? Give it time...give it time.

So let's just calm the fuck down and dial it back a notch. Let's enjoy the Turkey, the stuffing, the cranberries, and the mashed potatoes. You can shove the pumpkin pie up your ass because that shit is nasty. But stop and enjoy the holiday that everyone wants to forget about. Put on your pilgrim hats, your Indian head dresses and enjoy Thanksgiving. I wasn't much of a fan of it as a kid, but as I grow older I get it now. But it seems all of you cocksuckers wanna sweep it under the rug so that you can get to your presents faster.

So enjoy your weekend and if you just have to put your God damned Christmas decorations up, don't light them until next Friday. The day AFTER Thanksgiving. And if you're one of those people who've had them up since November 1st, or sooner...well I hope that Santa whacks off into your eggnog and his reindeer shit all over your roof!

Laisses les bons temps rouler ~ Gus

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