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Boldly going down the shitter.


Ah the cell phone. What did we do before this little piece of technology inspired by the communicator from the original Star Trek television series? I'll tell you what we did...WE DID THINGS! We didn't sit there like catatonic cocksuckers staring at a tiny screen to watch porn and cat videos. We were out socializing, getting laid, and partying it up for Christ sake. Nobody goes out anymore, they just talk on their phones, or text, or Facebook or whatever other social media is out there. Snapchat, Twitter, KIK, Plenty of Fish, Grinder, Messenger, Google Hang Outs, the list goes on and on at nauseum! None of it makes us smarter, or helps us become better people. We've all become self centered assholes because of social media. The "look at me" generation is of course leading this charge, but those from Generation X and even some Baby Boomers are doing their fair share to help destroy human social interaction.

You're probably saying to yourself "shut the fuck up Gus! You're all over social media too!" Well yes I am, but I do it as a hobby. I enjoy pissing people off. Ruffling feathers, and making people uncomfortable. I don't share personal information, pictures of the food I'm eating, or those stupid Snapchat filter pics. I've learned to not trust any photo on the internet and that most people on the internet could not hold a normal, intelligent conversation with a real person to save their lives. Sure they are always exceptions, but next time you're out and about, just say hi to a random person. Guys...say hi to an attractive woman. If she doesn't start screaming "rape" she'll just look at you with that "what the fuck are you looking at" look. People have forgotten how to socialize with each other. Go to a bar, everyone is sitting there on their cell phones! Bar skanks taking selfies every 5 seconds and posting them all over the internet for guys to spank it to. Every broad is a model now because she has Snapchat and a zillion filters. Well let me tell you something honey. I like my women with out cat ears and what the fuck is up with the goat filter? That's got to be for the towel heads because who else is having sex with goats???

My cell phone crapped out yesterday morning. It took a big heaping shit on me. I won't know what information can be saved until the new one arrives. Then I'll venture over to the AT&T store to sit there as if I was in a hospital waiting room sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see if Nana's quadruple bypass was a success or not. Everything was on that stupid phone, peoples phone numbers, photos, memes, I may lose it all, I may not. But people don't even know their friend's phone numbers anymore. You simply tap their name and bam, they answer. What if you get arrested for pissing in public on a Saturday night in the Vieux Carre? How are you going to call a friend to bail your ass out when you don't even know their phone number! You're gonna sit there till your court hearing while Bubba sits back and salivates while thinking of all the prison sex he can have with your many orifices while the guards are preoccupied with the riot going on in the next cell block. Better get a hemorrhoid pillow, because you're not sitting on anything without that baby for a long, long time.

I do have to say, I liked not being tied to the phone. I was free, nobody could get ahold of me. I could do anything I want and nobody would now. It was quiet and peaceful, but try and talk to somebody? Holy shit! Like I mentioned above, our society needs to really work on it's people skills. Say anything to a stranger and they immediately grab their purse or wallet, slowly back away from you and act as though you just slaughtered their whole family with a rusty machete. Again, not all people. I find the ole timers love a good conversation. A lot of them are veterans of our military and I love hearing stories of WWII, Korea, & Vietnam. Stories of when men were men, and this nation kicked ass and every other nation in the world knew it. We've gotten soft, technology has ruined or ability to retain knowledge. Everyone is an expert now because they just "Google it". Masculinity is frowned upon. Conservative values are frowned upon. I would gladly trade the internet, cell phones, and all of social media to have the society my grandparents had. People were self sufficient, loved this country, and most of all respected life and each other. So next time you're sitting on the train with your nose buried in your phone watching highlights from some stupid reality t.v. show, realize that you are part of the problem. The technology whore that can't go 30 seconds without posting a selfie on Facebook. I betcha Captain Kirk never thought his fucking Communicator would eventually destroy society. He was always worried about Romulans and the fucking Klingons! Live long...AND GO LIVE! Put the cell phone down, especially you cocksuckers texting and driving.

Laissez les bons temps rouler ~ Gus


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